mel·an·chol·y ( P ) Pronunciation Key (mln-kl)
n.

1. Sadness or depression of the spirits; gloom: “There is melancholy in the wind and sorrow in the grass” (Charles Kuralt).
2. Pensive reflection or contemplation.
3. Archaic.
   1. Black bile.
   2. An emotional state characterized by sullenness and outbreaks of violent anger, believed to arise from black bile
   Black bile and sullenness quite accurately describes my mood lately. I feel really lonely. Not lonely in the way that I have no friends. I have amazing, terrific, first rate friends. I just feel lonely in the way that I don't know where I belong, or fit in. I have been over one year at this job and more than a year in los angeles and I find myself on the lookout for what is next, getting itchy feet but i don't know. I just don't know. this is a typical episode of my "boomerang generation" or maybe just another typical episode of another twentysomething.

Have I learned nothing? I just finished Joan Didion's new book. "Life changes in an instant," she says. "You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends. A queston of selfpity." A question of selfpity. I couldn't have written a more accurate description of my frame of mind. You come home from the gym and life as you know it ends.