I try to imagine how different life was under Ceausescu ( especially in the 80's) and it's nearly impossible. People always tell me stories of bread lines and two hours of tv. They tell me about blackouts and ridiculous rallies and ceremonies dedicated to Mr. and Mrs. Ceaucescu. They say that they had money to spend but there was nothing in the stores. The main complaint now is there is so much in the stores and no money to buy it. I have actually heard from several people about how it was better under the Ceausescu regime. "At least," one taxi driver explained "we all had a roof over our heads and the same food on our plates." "Now," he complains, "there are children without milk and we are working like dogs for little pay." The problem is people never understood that democracy is not a free ride but exactly the opposite. The transition from communism is harder mentally than physically. People expected the iron curtain to fall and money to flow into their pockets without change and work and intiative. Complacency and apathy are what kill deomocracy. I see apathy time and again at the post office and many institutions here. Now these are broad generalizations and not all people are like this. In fact I have met many motivated self-starting individuals (especially women) but I feel that they have to bang their heads really hard against the system to get anything done. That takes stamina. Change comes really slow and you are the last to see it when you live in the midst of it. A fellow volunteer put it best when she said, "It's like cleaning your room, things have got to get messy before you can put them in order." Romania I fear is afraid to get really messy. They state still controls a lot of industry and the secret police haven't even released their files to the people. Romania is trying to erase the past without letting it free. I seem to have run off on a tangent. I wish that I could have been here fifteen years ago for one day. That would be interesting.I am reading a really great book at the moment about life under communism for women. It's called "How We Survived Communism and Even Laughed" by Slavenka Drakulic. She is really insightful. The most interesting thing is that she talks about life immediatly following the fall of the iron curtain in Zagreb, Croatia. I was just there and I tell you it is amazing, light years away from Romania. So the stories she tells are so hard to picture. Anyway, it is worth a read if you are interested in the subject of communism.