"Full Speed Ahead"

" I still feel surprised, sometimes, that I'm no longer twelve years old."
--Eugene Ionesco

Sitting here, chewing on my nails, thinking. What to write about today. I am in a state of denial about my choice to leave. Living at home has allowed me to revert back to childhood. Funny thing is, I never dreamed in my wildest imagination that life would ever change. I never considered the posibility of actually becoming an adult (always a horribly unsettling word). Adults were people in their 20's in fact old was 30. Suddenly I find myself to be 22 years old. Let that soak...twenty-two. I am considered an adult by the entire world, and yet I feel so small inside, so unfinished. Time has shifted again, and 30 no longer seems old. I know, I know this is typical existential 22 year old psycho-babble. But hey everybody deserves their little existential moment in the sun. Now it's my turn to walk on the beach, blinded by the light.
At home, I am instantly became twelve years old again, (which explains the request for a moonbounce at my going away bash). It has been nice. I have been able to breathe. But, time keeps on pressing me forward and although I don't feel older by the minute, I turn around and yesterday is gone and tomorrow is today and suddenly I am twenty-two years old. In other words it's time. I must start my own independent life. I must forge ahead (isn't that a great phrase). But most importantly I must buy a warm sleeping bag for Romania. I feel like I am forgetting something...oh yes that would be the point. The point is this, you are always too young to wear a watch and you are never to old to jump in a moonbounce. Although, you might not want to do that with too many 22 year olds at the same time.