"Temping my time away"
"...there's a hell of a lot to do, and not much time to do it, time flows by like a river and a wind is rising."
-Jack Kerouac (letter to Sebastian Sampas)
Okay so consistancy is not my strong point. Two days later and I am just getting back to the blog. It doesn't help that the phone keeps ringing (oh how I hate the phone) and I am the receptionist so I guess I have to answer it. 26 days and counting. Let me repeat that, 26 DAYS AND COUNTING until I leave.
Everyone keeps asking me "How do you feel?" Blast, the phone AGAIN....
...So, "How do I feel?" I reply with the expected youthful excitment, vision and confidence, "Excited! Really, really excited!" But really between you and I, I am nervous as hell. I think about it and I tremble. Part joy, the majority nerves, I swear this feeling is worse then my stomach during the uphill crawl of a rollercoaster. Anticipation folks, that's what kills me. My major concerns have to deal with language. Knowing virtually no Romanian, I have terrifying visions of teaching English to Romanian kids while they secretly make fun of me in Romanian. It's a frightening thought.......(the phone won't stop)....... next to that I am concerned about loneliness. But there is something awfully romantic about pining away in my little room in Romania, walking the countryside and thinking about home and the great Pacific.
I almost went to Russia. The Peace Corps invited me to go there, but then invited me to Romania as well, at the last second. Romania. The language has the musical quality of Italian, the wierd looking french "c" and slavic accent marks. It's going to be fun.
The other day Dad (who from here on out will be fondly refered to as Gimp) said to me , "Nina, you know, you won't be failing if you decide that you don't like it and come home." "I know, I know, Dad (oops, Gimp)" I reassured him. But, I can't fail. I can't come home. I have got to do this.. Something in gut from the time I was twelve knew that I was supposed to join the Peace Corps. I can't see anything else.
Mom keeps saying teary-eyed that she knows I will never live near her again. "You are going to live abroad forever." she guilt-trips me. I don't know about that, what I do know is that I am not ready to settle down any time soon. The world is for my taking, actually, I am at the mercy of the world. So here ends my entry today. I am going to buy a digital camera today. Mom has been begging me to get one. She thinks it will be soo very easy to download my pictures abroad in some internet cafe. That is, if there is an internet cafe...anyways, later