"Goodbyes"

"The Queen: How could you get so rooted in this world? you cling to it, you believe in this world, you dig your nails into these clouds, this unreal stuff which you take for reality, for rock. You see, it's giving way, it's breaking up, it's dissolving into clouds, flakes, snow water, steam, smoke. You cling to it... Try to loosen your hold, little by little....Break the habit of living. How could you forget that all this is just a brief passage? You used to know that, you said you knew it. But you can't have known it. You were lying to yourself. You knew without really knowing."
---Exit the King by Eugene Ionesco

Saying goodbye is the hardest part. I understand now Will. Parting is indeed sweet sorrow. My mom is a wreck which puts me into a spiraling mess; my stomach clenches into knots, I get this numb nostalgic lump in my throat and my brain refuses to focus on anything but TLC and Trading Spaces ( which I have taken to watching with a vengence) such is the cycle of goodbye. Tommorow is the party. Woohoo! I spent all day cooking with mom which put us both into a sentimental mood. There is something about food, family and friends. The comforting "F's." ( Boy that could be skewed the wrong way)

Anyways, I have nothing too deep to relay except that I feel as if I am the luckiest girl in the world. Mom said to me today. "Nina isn't it so nice that all these people are coming tomorrow? So many people love you." I feel truly blessed. I love you all so much. And to stop this from becoming the mushy and dribbly entry that it is becoming...I only want to say this. I will miss you all. I love you and I feel so honored that you have made an impact on my life. Because of you I am the person that I am today. And I know that without any of you, I would not be able to take this step, I would not be able to say goodbye. So thanks. Thanks for making this brief passage, one to dig my nails into.
Two days and counting........