OMG. Two years have passed. And now I use text speak like OMG and WTF. What has the world come to? Really.

Springfield, MASS

Life on the road has officially begun. Maybe it's not life on the road that enjoy so much but being part of a corps. Yes. Be it a corps of peace or a corps of stories I am all about it. Next up: the marine corps. (stop laughing dad)

Anywho, I made my way up to Springfield, Mass to meet up with the mobilebooth. We are parked outside of the basketball hall of fame, a parking lot that we share with the wild and uber hip, pizzeria Uno. Yes, folks, this pizza place has valet parking it's THAT popular.
First of all I have waaaaaaaay too much crap. After consolidating and selling my meager belongings (bed, dresser, desk, chair, night stand), packing up the back of Carl's truck with boxes of winter clothes and books, and giving my plant to the generous Eleanor and Patrick to babysit, I still manage to have an enormous suitcase, large backpacking backpack and small (but stuffed to the gills) school bag. Today rolling the gigantic suitcase down the Amtrak aisle was no easy feat. I actually had one man jump out of seat to help me because i looked so pathetic bumbling down the row. But, I'm here. That's good. Enough of the kvetching.

I do miss New York.

There. I said it. This is going to be one wild adventure but I think that much will be a learning process. I hope that I don't dissapoint. I know, I know that's awful egocentric but it is a not-so-secret fear. But, I am also so excited to begin.

Today I shadowed two interviews. One with a young ouple who are going to get married in October. When they came into the booth I thought to myself, this is going to be a typical "i love you. I can't wait to get married," interviews. But, they blew me out of the water. The man is HIV positive. He just kept asking his fiance the most honest questions like, "What did people say when you told them I had HIV?" He had had HIV since he was young. He was hemopheliac and contracted the disease through a blood transfusion. Their love and understanding (as corny as I know this sounds) was infective. I thought, this is why I am doing this job. I want to be stunned.

More tomorrow

I haven't posted in two years. Funny, the last time that i wrote anything i had just been accepted to the New School and now, lo and behold, I have my MFA. Just graduated. Time as the cliche goes, flies. Soars is perhaps a more appropriate term. I have a job ( can I get a Hallelujah!). I am going to be working at StoryCorps an oral history project. I will be trained as a "mobile facilitator" this is a fancy term for a listener. I am going to be traveling to different towns across the country recording interviews of everyday Americans. The interviews are archived in the Library of Congress. It's sort of like the modern day WPA. I am scared. Afraid of being homeless for a year. I will be literally living out of a suitcase. I am going to sell my meager furniture (bed, desk, dresser, night stand) and put my books and clothes into storage in Brooklyn and hit the road. The job starts at the end of June. I am going to be 29 this year! Sorry for the interjection, it's just that I was marveling in one of my last posts that I was 25 and now I am sliding into 30! Mike has been dead 4 years. Brook is having a baby! Life happens. Thank god. Alright, that's enough catch-up for one day.

Espana
Intentare a escribir en nada mas que espanol...pues no puedo...lo se...no hablas espanol y la verdad es que no escribo muy bien...entonces...in english...
I love spain.

Wow. Seems that I have been MIA for some time. Well...just a little news. I got accepted to the New School for nonfiction. Yay. (the rejection pile was well piling up so thanks god, mike or whomever sent a little good news my way) Though New York is possibly the most expensive place on earth. I have accepted that I will just be poor and in debt my whole life anyways. Though i haven't decided yes for sure just yet (I have a whole week to send in that first check. better get a move on nina). I am crunching figures and mentally letting myself think...you can be a writer nina. So here's to new york and frozen hot chocolate (everyone I talk to about new york tells me about frozen hot chocolate) and musicals, and warm sweaters, and running in central park and missing my family, and lonely holidays, and being one of millions.

My apartment makes me happy. At 3pm the sunlight streams in all four windows illuminating streaks of dust floating through the air and making me feel as if there couldn't be a more perfect moment. just the sun through the window as I sit on my bed and type out some garbled thought that has popped into my head. just a thought.
I am clearing out my office and putting things in order for the big EXIT. How nice it is to know that I will only be working in planet g-berg for one a half more weeks. I lined up four people already for interviews tomorrow. Everyone wants this job but me.
I started doing some research on autism. It is a hot button issue. There is so much controversy surrounding the vaccination debate. Is autism on the rise because of increased awareness or is it partially due to thimerosal found at dangerous levels in vaccines throughout the eighties and nineties? What is most unbelievable is how politics has played into the debate? Or maybe not unbelievable at all. We are talking about the pharmaceutical industry. "In November of 2002, while the final version of the Homeland Security Act was being voted, someone snuck in as the last four paragraphs of the 484-page document a provision that protected the Eli Lilly Company -- largest maker of thimerosal -- from future autism lawsuits. Dan Burton -- a Republican member of the House of Representatives from Indiana -- whose House Government Reform Committee has been investigating autism increases for three years, raised hell on the floor. He said that "the legislative process was hijacked" by lobbyists who pushed the Lilly protective provision into reality. A year ago last week (2003), the House and Senate -- impressed by the ensuing public uproar -- took away the Lilly cloak against liability lawsuits." an excerpt from an article on salon.com. I have no words. Well maybe actually I do... I ask you, my fellow citizens of this country, if not for each other who are we for? Big business? It's like that poem about the holocaust. (pardon the bad paraphrase) First the German's took away the gypsys but I said nothing for I was not a gypsy. Then they took away the Gays but I said nothing because I was not gay. Then they took away the Jews, and again I said nothing for I was not a Jew. Finally they came to take me away and no one was left to speak for me.
Our lives are only enriched by one another. Shouldn't we be working to defend them and not the corporate giant who enslaves us. Gosh, I sound naive. I can see you shake your heads. I just have high hopes. I'd rather start from above then below.

"Spooky Friday the 13th"

*there is a ghost sitting on the park bench. Lately I have been running into many ghosts. Lisa keeps emailing me. Yep, her name has appeared in my inbox several times of the last few months. Some fluke with friendster but I like to think of it more as a cosmic hello than disturbing spam.

Mikey appeared in my dreams for the first time last night. We we're sitting back to back and he spoke to me in a very slow, strange voice. I was crying in the dream and holding on to him. I can't remember what he said. I woke up at 3 with tears in my eyes. I tried so hard to force myself back to sleep, to see him, feel him for a few more seconds. He was there, so clearly. All day I just wanted to tell everyone. I saw my brother. He visited me in my sleep. I saw him for the first time in well over a year. I felt him. I miss him. I have started to forget the finer details of him. It is terrifying.

Lately I have been so angry at the world. I nearly rammed my car into my co-worker's car when he took my parking space the other morning. He gave me this smug little smirk as he pulled into my customary spot just ahead of me. He is always out to prove that he is smarter, better, more worthy. And I fed into his bait. I was so angry. I contemplated keying his car. It scared me. I am just angry and the slightest things set me off. But I am not angry at my colleague. My reaction to him is just a byproduct product of this growing fury within me. I realized last night at therapy that I am incredibly angry with myself. I am angry that I wasn't always the nicest older sister, that I didn't spend as much time with Mike as I could have, that I was somewhat negligent and maybe I continue to be negligent with my family. What kind of person does that make me? Okay enough of the pity party, that is also not who I want to be. I want to get better I do, but this pain will never go away. So I have to learn to be numb.

On to positive subjects, because there is so much positive. I got a new job. I am finally leaving planet G-berg and the land of ALL CAPS emails and volatile bosses. Well who knows I may have a new volatile boss, but I sincerely hope and think not. I am going to be working on a documentary about autism. It is truly going to be a learning experience. It's grass roots film making, making a difference. Now that's exciting. Check it out...